Trauma as a gateway to enlightenment (part 1 of 9)
Oh dear trauma you are most welcome here. I didn’t ask for you on a human level but on a deeper spiritual level you were just what I needed to awaken from the dream of separation. The trauma was a gateway to enlightenment.
There is no need to force. Once you start to open up spiritually and dare I say emotionally too, then the traumas you are holding will come up slowly one at a time as your system is ready for it. Peace is the gentle acceptance of trauma. From this gentle acceptance comes a deep soft realisation that behind the stories, spiritualisation and suppression of trauma is a silence so deep that you can cope.
You can even cope with the parts of yourself that cannot cope. The silence is in the deep meditation, it is in your thoughts, it is in your emotions, it is in your body, it is in the bliss and it is buried deep within the very fabric of the over-whelming trauma itself. Nothing ever happened. Well in all fairness it sort of did on a human level but on a deeper level the divine was still playing it’s song and gently allowing you to participate fully in the human drama.
Practically there are three keys things when it comes to trauma in my experience. Be very gentle with yourself (just like a mother gently nurturing her child), explore trauma in the body (despite the temptation to transcend there is often a lot hidden there) and most of all by patient. Trauma takes time.
Trauma you are welcome here and I honour your divine presence.
You cannot fail on the spiritual path (part 2 of 9)
There are no failures on the spiritual path. All efforts are seen by God.
The temptation is to judge your spiritual path as a failure or success as defined by the ego’s narrow interpretation of events but really there are no failures. Not even learning opportunities which is another ego concept. There is instead simply a dream and life path unfolding, exactly as it is meant to be in some crazy logical illogical order that the mind cannot grasp.
You are not a failure.
The most important trait for enlightenment is sincerity (part 3 of 9)
Do you really want enlightenment?
Then the most important trait is sincerity. Sincerity of intent, sincerity of effort and sincerity of devotion all combine to create the ideal conditions for the cosmic accident to happen.
Sincerity of intent means making it about something much bigger than yourself. The enlightenment can never be just for you but must include the whole world, as the whole world cannot but change when viewed through enlightened consciousness. You become a vessel for the whole.
Sincerity of effort is about showing up. The path to enlightenment is rarely easy, with lots of stories, trauma and conditioning to be held up gently in the mirror of truth. There will be a massive temptation to quit. Yet through sincere effort, even when it feels like things are going wrong and no progress is being made, will eventually break through. Effort eventually becomes non-effort but even then the sincerity is the same. It just happens differently.
Sincerity of devotion is sometimes hard for us westerners, particularly males in my experience. Yet on the path to enlightenment the devotion to God must be total, giving you joy in the midst of pain and comfort in the times of turbulence. To be devoted is scary thing because it requires a dissolution of the feeling of being separate and a willingness to go beyond your own perceived interests. Of course devotion can be misplaced yet if it is aligned to a gentle innocent loving God not of this world, then it is hard to go far wrong.
There is no truth (part 4 of 9)
There is no truth but one.
This one truth cannot be put into words, it cannot be put into practices and it cannot be put into the greatest spiritual traditions. These all merely put to this one truth.
The truth is not of this world.
Everything you think about this world is untrue because there is no world in truth. Yet the most beautiful thing is when a fully human being allows themselves to be a paradoxical vessel of truth, shining their light meekly and subtly on this illusory world.
The paradox is the truth (part 5 of 9)
The paradox is the truth.
The mind wants truth to be an absolute statement that it can read in a spiritual book, apply consistently to whatever situation appears to be arising in the world and is far inside the realms of the known. Yet truth is the ultimate paradox. And paradoxes are flexible, without consistency and without any logical pattern when it comes to the level of form. Confused?
Lets take some examples…
In non-dual circles you will hear a lot of people saying there is no need to seek anything, as what you are seeking you already are. Sounds clever hey? Yet teachers will also say without any hesitation that the biggest trait for enlightenment is to really want it and have a desire for the absolute.
Along similar lines some people will advise you that there is no need for any effort and non-action is the best way forward, whilst in contrast some people will advocate the need for discipline, devotion and dedication to your spiritual practice done with maximum effort. Sounds contradictory to me!!
One final example is the paradox that your decision making and ability to know what to do in a given moment seems to vastly improve as you align more with the enlightened state, yet many enlightenment teachers will say they know less and less as their state evolves closer to enlightenment. Again doesn’t seem to add up!!
All paradoxes come because of one simple thing…level confusion.
When giving spiritual advice all that really matters is that advice comes from the enlightened place in another individual through their vessel to the aspirant. The rest is a matter of form. Our conditioning is so used to judging things on the level of form, encompassing behaviour, values, so called morality and actions that we mostly struggle to comprehend that really the form is irrelevant. This means advice will always be different to different aspirants. Some may need lots of seeking and effort at that moment on their path, whilst others will need a gentle reminder that all is well and they can rest without such intense seeking and effort now.
Similarly level confusion can also explain our last example. The decision making and ability to know what to do in a given moment despite seemingly knowing less is because the enlightened individual taps into the stream of consciousness that is all-knowing to make decisions rather than relying on the conditioning of their past. Only beautiful pictures are painted. The enlightened person flows moment by moment in the stream of all-knowing consciousness to paint the beautiful reflection of their enlightenment on the movie of life, rather than rely on the “I” individual with all its conditioning, stories, karma and apparent illusory destruction to paint on the world.
Finally it is worth pointing out that words are always going to create a paradox because as Jesus s wisely puts in A Course In Miracles they are but symbols twice removed from reality. Words can only point to truth and will always create confusion. To judge an enlightened being or spiritual teacher by their words is a mistake because the true power comes from the subtle transmission they give off to people.
The paradox is the truth because truth is everything yet it is also nothing.
This is where many Non-Dual and A Course in Miracles Students (my main spiritual path alongside) become limited and stuck in subtle separation. It is easy to say the non-dual state of God is the only truth and everything else is illusory but this silence of God really permeates through all aspects of the human experience and this is why you can fully know that all else is illusory. Not through knowledge but through the paradox that bodily sensations, thoughts, emotions, samadhi and all appear to be there and can be experienced yet within the fabric of each is a force that renders all ultimately illusory but in time.
Enjoy the journey.
Allowing Miracles to be done through you (part 6 of 9)
Miracles are God’s will.
You need do nothing but allow the miracle of silence to flow through you now. All will be done.
All physical laws, all the beliefs about how things work in the world, all the beliefs about the needs of the body, all the beliefs about the reasons for relationships and all the stories about your purpose are shredded with gentle compassion by the miracle. You need do nothing.
The miracle works outside time and space and as such is not subject to the same laws of this world and those that you think that you live by. The miracle heals all. All the wrong perceptions about what you think you are, all the wrong perceptions you project out onto others and all the wrong perceptions you have of this world. It is time for rest now.
Miracles are not done through effort or by any form of letting go (which is just a subtle spiritual mode of effort) but by merely being. Being fully alive and present to silence truly is the gateways to miracles.
I remember a very showy worldly miracle that appeared to happen through me when I was on an intensive yoga retreat. The power was immense. A lovely lady was unfortunately having what can only be described as a big physic attack, running out of the hall during the morning yoga practice after we had done some energy healing work the previous day. I was called to the hill where she was going through the battle. I merely did nothing but allow the miracle of silence to work through me, as I spoke words that certainly didn’t come from me and asked Jesus and Mary Magdalene for support in helping this poor lady heal. After five minutes the battle was over. The thing that was causing her a problem in her energy system was present no more, she had clamed down and was now in state of deep peace. A “miracle” had occurred.
Miracles can also certainly be much less showy as well and often these are the most powerful ones which no-one really sees on a physical level. Forgiveness is always the way. This has certainly been the case for me when I have forgiven those who sexually abused me when I was younger, a work colleague who rather appeared to stab me in the back on a worldly level and those who bullied me when I was younger. The shift in perception was the miracle. To be able to see them as Christ, completely free, pure and innocent, with the physical level results handed over to the grace of God with a deep acceptance that I don’t need to know anyway.
To allow the miracle to take place was all about allowing and not an effort. Allowing all the pain, all the trauma, all the bitterness, all the anger, all the isolation and all the perceived unfairness to be right there in the present moment and falling in love with my resistance to the whole process too.
Miracles are already happening but you need to get out of the way.
God’s will is the miracle. The more you allow the gentle silence of his love to work through your illusory vessel, the more the miracles will appear to happen through you and around you.
Rest in peace and allow the miracles to flow.
The Silence of Love (part 7 of 9)
Love is silent.
Love is humble.
Love is all-encompassing
Open now to the hidden treasures of love from the heart of God, allowing it to shine like a bright silent jewel on all those whom you meet.
Love is silent.
Love is meek.
Life is a mystery (part 8 of 9)
LIFE IS A MYSTERY
Are we living in a illusion or are we living in reality? The mind can never understand.
On one hand life seems so real- the ups and downs, the sensations of the physical body, the heart-opening emotions, the never ending thoughts and the incredible synchronicities give life it’s unique taste. Then bhamm we go through all illusions. It happened to me when I was 20 years old after coaching a high performance sports session at the University of Exeter- it all melted away and only the silence remained. This was mind-bending stuff!!
Then normal life returned again, with all my problems, all my emotions, all my thoughts, all the weird synchronicities and all the pain. The silence was still there too but more as a background reference point. Which one was more real? It was hard to tell, hard to integrate into one cohesive whole and hard to make sense of on any level!!
Years passed by. There were many teachers, many spiritual masters, many clients and many ordinary people in everyday life who came to teach me the truth of what had happened. The answer came. IT WAS ALL ABOUT THE DEEP HEART-FELT LOVE FOR LIFE AND THE MYSTERY THAT CAN NEVER EVER BE SOLVED WHEN IN A HUMAN BODY.
The non-dualists want it to all be illusion bar God, the atheists want it to all be about the body and the spiritual aspirants generally want something in between. None are right or wrong. But for profound inner peace and happiness all must discover a deep heart-felt love for life in whatever way resonates with us. We will never know why life was created, why we came to be on planet Earth and why we came to be incarnated in our particular physical body and circumstances but we can still live in a heart-felt way that starts to bring peace to the mystery of our existence.
As the great Indian mystic Osho shared, LIFE IS A MYSTERY TO BE LIVED NOT BE SOLVED.
The Journey is Your Own (part 9 of 9)
EACH JOURNEY TO ENLIGHTENMENT IS UNIQUE.
The script is already written in a million ways to enable each apparently separated soul to return to source.
What is your journey?
The reality is you have no say in this journey, as the script of your life has not only already been written but has already happened. You are watching the movie back and reviewing what has already happened. THIS BRINGS SO MUCH PEACE AND LIBEREATION!! Nothing was your fault, nothing was nobody’s else’s fault and nothing has ever gone wrong in your life.
Sure we can look to improve and develop in the context of the dream but the deeper reality is you can do no wrong. Experiment, mess up and make the worst decisions of your life without fear, guilt or judgement. It is time to play and enjoy now!!
The journey was already scripted so long ago and you can now watch in perfect peace, perfect serenity and perfect love for life as the chaos of your script unfolds all around you. Keep the intention pure and strong to be a vessel to uplift humanity but also remember that this vessel can truly never ever do any wrong because there is no free will 😊
You are so loved and I thank you for sharing this journey with me through the “wisdom for the spiritual aspirant” series.